- “They were gone, without a word, snapped out, made accidental, isolated, like ghosts, even from our pity” (135).
- “Her laughter, her gestures, her assertions became more violently affected moment by moment…” (30).
- “Thirty---the promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning briefcase of enthusiasm, thinning hair” (135).
- “A breeze blew through the room, blew curtains in at one end and out the other like pale flags…” (8).
Fitzgerald varies his use of syntax, emphasizing certain ideas and erratic changes in emotion. The narrator abstractly defines the state in which Gatsby and Daisy’s love had been left in by stating, “They were gone, without a word, snapped out, made accidental, isolated, like ghosts, even from our pity” (135). The short, abrupt sentence fragments in between the commas relate to the blunt change in relationships throughout the novel, for they are all disloyal and end in a sudden matter. Gatsby and Daisy’s love affair is also expressed through this concise sentence structure because at that moment, the fact that their love even existed was ignored all so suddenly and left behind “like ghosts”. “Her laughter, her gestures, her assertions became more violently affected moment by moment…” (30). The noted asyndeton here leaves a lasting effect on Mrs. Wilson’s exposure, for the repetition of “her” highlights every aspect of Mrs. Wilson in a direct way. Carraway conveys his birthday as “Thirty---the promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning briefcase of enthusiasm, thinning hair” (135). The dash in this sentence separates the main idea from its breakdown, thus forcing all attention on the new decade that Carraway is encountering. Carraway then continues with the repetition of “thinning”, which powerfully reinforces the idea of future loss in Carraway’s identity, for “thinning” refers to other verb forms of “diminishing” or “trimming”. Fitzgerald’s continuous variation of syntax spotlights extreme voltas in the narrator and the other characters from long, sophisticated sentences, as well as elucidates various key ideas.
The way Fitzgerald exercises the effect of syntactical devices such as the above asyndeton emphasizes his point, such as in the instance quoted above. I agree that the description and portrayal is accentuated to display how everything about her is changing. The asyndeton makes every movement of Mrs. Wilson seem more important, conveying Fitzgerald's purpose for the reader to analyze what exactly is causing her to be more animated. In addition,as you have said, the repetition of "thinning" in the above anaphora emphasizs Nick's unhappiness about becoming thirty years old. The author/narrator gives specific examples of what is "thinning" to more effectively portray his discontent.
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